Apakah Anti Mainstream Eksis?

Beberapa saat yang lalu, kata-kata anti-mainstream jadi kata yang cukup mainstream, karena banyak banget orang yang menggunakan kata 'anti-mainstream' ini. Nah, sekarang, pertanyaan gue adalah, apakah si 'anti-mainstream' ini beneran eksis?

Well, sejauh ini gue emang ga begitu suka dengan hal-hal yang mainstream. Gue cenderung lebih memilih hal-hal yang ga disukai banyak orang. Gue lebih suka dengan dunia gue sendiri ketimbang dunia orang-orang yang hanya itu-itu melulu. Tapi ternyata itu hanya ada di otak gue, di kehidupan nyata gue, gue masih aja larut dalam dunia mainstream alias dunia yang ga beda jauh dengan dunia orang-orang pada umumnya.

Satu contoh konkrit yang membuktikan bahwa dunia gue ternyata masih mainstream-mainstream aja adalah karena saat ini gue masih aja jadi anak kuliahan tingkat akhir yang kerjaannya galauin skripsi yang ga kelar-kelar karena ga digarap-garap. Banyak orang-orang anti-mainstream seumuran gue yang sedang enggak berkutat dengan dunia yang sedang gue geluti ini. Tapi gue, tetep ikutin arus seperti ini.

Contoh lain adalah tentang cowok. Oke, emang kalo gue lagi ngomong entah kenapa selalu ujung-ujungnya berakhir di satu kata itu. Jadi pada dasarnya gue kepingin untuk berpikiran dan bertindak anti-mainstream, tapi ternyata yang ada adalah kebalikannya. Karena apa, setiap kali gue suka sama cowok, cowok-cowok yang gue suka ini adalah cowok-cowok mainstream. Maksudnya? Well, gue pernah ngobrol dengan salah seorang temen gue, dan ternyata tipikal cowok yang kita suka ini hampir-hampir mirip lah. Dan parahnya adalah, setiap cowok yang gue suka, pasti aja banyak yang suka. Kurang mainstream apa coba?

Hal lain yang membuat gue curiga kalo anti-mainstream itu gak eksis adalah karena ketika gue dan dua orang temen gue lagi garap suatu proyek dan kita membuat proyek itu menjadi sesuatu yang anti-mainstream banyak pertanyaan-pertanyaan terlontar akan hal itu. Banyak yang masih meragukan akan ke-anti-mainstream-an hal yang kita kerjakan ini.

Jadi intinya, apakah ANTI-MAINSTREAM itu cuma ada di otak gue tapi gak ada di kehidupan nyata??

Secarik Kertas

Dear you,

Before I start everything, let me tell you something. I'm not that kind of person who can easily say things in my mind. I always get tongue-tied whenever it's the time for me to speak, so through this piece of paper, I want you to hear what I've been thinking and feeling.

I've finally decided to tell you everything. Every little thing that I've been hiding for quite some time. It may not be the right time, because if I wait for the right time, then it'll never happen. But one thing, I want you to know that I want nothing different between us after this. It may be awkward at first, but please please please, don't change everything because I don't wanna ruin things.

What kills me the most is that this guilty feeling for you. I feel that I'm the one who should be punished of the rumors spread about us. You may feel burdened and uncomfortable, and I do feel so bad about it. Although I believe that we both know that there's nothing between us, but people won't think the same. They hear the rumors and they see us together. It doesn't mean that I don't wanna be friends with you, no, but, that's how people think, right? Thing is that, it will be okay if there's nothing to worry. But I guess there are things to worry. Well, what I've been afraid is that, if there are others who would be hurt. It may or may not be me. But it's okay if it is me, because I've been accustomed to it. But what about others who do not know? What about them who are close to you and they hear this from others who know nothing about it? It's okay with me since I'm involved with no one. But what about you? You may think I don't know, but I guess I know something that you've been hiding as well, though I don't know the reason. I've been aware and I've been watching you, actually. So sorry, but this is for your sake. Yet, correct me if I'm mistaken. Has she already known? It'll be okay if she's okay. But still, this guilty feeling cannot go away from my thought. 

Another thing that has burdened me lately is that, what am I to you? Such a silly question, huh? But don't worry, I won't be offended by whatever your answer is because I guess I've known the answer. :D

Lastly, I just hope that this won't change things between us. I know you're such an open minded guy, but I just don't have the courage to tell you directly. So sorry for wasting your time.
Thank you :)