Secarik Kertas

Dear you,

Before I start everything, let me tell you something. I'm not that kind of person who can easily say things in my mind. I always get tongue-tied whenever it's the time for me to speak, so through this piece of paper, I want you to hear what I've been thinking and feeling.

I've finally decided to tell you everything. Every little thing that I've been hiding for quite some time. It may not be the right time, because if I wait for the right time, then it'll never happen. But one thing, I want you to know that I want nothing different between us after this. It may be awkward at first, but please please please, don't change everything because I don't wanna ruin things.

What kills me the most is that this guilty feeling for you. I feel that I'm the one who should be punished of the rumors spread about us. You may feel burdened and uncomfortable, and I do feel so bad about it. Although I believe that we both know that there's nothing between us, but people won't think the same. They hear the rumors and they see us together. It doesn't mean that I don't wanna be friends with you, no, but, that's how people think, right? Thing is that, it will be okay if there's nothing to worry. But I guess there are things to worry. Well, what I've been afraid is that, if there are others who would be hurt. It may or may not be me. But it's okay if it is me, because I've been accustomed to it. But what about others who do not know? What about them who are close to you and they hear this from others who know nothing about it? It's okay with me since I'm involved with no one. But what about you? You may think I don't know, but I guess I know something that you've been hiding as well, though I don't know the reason. I've been aware and I've been watching you, actually. So sorry, but this is for your sake. Yet, correct me if I'm mistaken. Has she already known? It'll be okay if she's okay. But still, this guilty feeling cannot go away from my thought. 

Another thing that has burdened me lately is that, what am I to you? Such a silly question, huh? But don't worry, I won't be offended by whatever your answer is because I guess I've known the answer. :D

Lastly, I just hope that this won't change things between us. I know you're such an open minded guy, but I just don't have the courage to tell you directly. So sorry for wasting your time.
Thank you :)